How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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