She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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