no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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