I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
