i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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