About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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