just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
