Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
