Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
