people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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