1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
