no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
