69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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