you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
