conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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