Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
