Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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