i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
