Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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