pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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