And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
