1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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