He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
