found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
