I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
there is glitter all over my balls
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