I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
