Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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