I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
