yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
