OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
