ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
