I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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