how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
