I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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