So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
