he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
