I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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