So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
