i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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