3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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