I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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