We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
