Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
