Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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