Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel like a drive thru vagina
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
