my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
