The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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