I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
