he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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