Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We have so much sex to catch up on
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
