Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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