just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
