I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
